Snowy Surprise

Kuva: Peter Culley

It’s that time of year we here that winter came as a surprise, as usual, particularly for motorists. How is that possible? We get huge helpings of snow every year at around the same time, so you would think there would be some sort of routine. Even the weather forecasts promised us snow a week before we actually got it. By the way, I love the way Finns say what weather has been promised, but it must put a lot of pressure on meteorologists here, I mean nobody wants to break a promise, do they?

It’s also that time of year I hear people wishing me a good autumn. As far as I’m concerned, that snowmobile already sailed a couple of weeks ago when temperatures hit zero. Soon people will be talking about Christmas. Then, right after New Year, it’s once more time to talk about spring. I understand that immigrants like me see Finland differently, but as far as I am concerned, if there’s snow on the ground, it’s winter.

Some people say we have four or even eight seasons in Lapland, but actually a year in Lapland is just like a really long day. There’s six months of sunshine and daylight followed by six months of snow and darkness.

Apparently, it takes a snowflake approximately one hour from cloud to ground, followed by hours moving all the snowflakes from one place to the next. Remember, if you have any problems with snow this winter, simply blame Alltime. Everyone knows everything is their fault, even if it’s not, and they are used to receiving complaints all [the] time anyway.

Winter means the Polar Nights are here. Looking through rose-tinted mamu glasses, everything looks like the Christmas cards our family used to receive in England. I never see the snow and darkness as depressing, quite the opposite.

However, if you do get depressed this winter, you have two options. You can either book a time with a therapist in total confidence, or simply post all your deepest, darkest secrets directly online, thereby eliminating the middleman. Both options lead to the same publicity and hey, they do say sharing is caring. Vastaamo expressed deep regret that the intimate details of its psychotherapy patients were made public, and quickly set up a crisis hotline, so victims can talk to them if they feel distressed. Ironic really, since it was sharing their distress that put them in this situation in the first place. I’m not sure how many of their customers will be returning customers willing to share more personal issues with them.

Children are also having anxiety problems. Apparently, an increasing number of children are worried whether or not they will see Santa this year. They blame the coronavirus, but I suspect this is just a cunning ploy to take the focus away from how good they have or haven’t been this year.

Despite a very challenging year, I hope you enjoy the winter. Make the most of it, as we don’t have to share the snow with many tourists this year, and it’s not that easy to travel to warmer destinations anyway!

We shall survive!