VOTE FOR ME!

Kuva: Peter Culley

Before you all get excited, don’t worry, I’m not a candidate. However, now that the local elections are approaching, I can’t help think how weird democracy is.

 

Idiots

Half of the population is below average intelligence. Let them choose who runs society or become candidates themselves.

 

Politics is boring

Vote for people from the entertainment industry. They know nothing about politics, but at least it makes it much more fun.

 

Populism

Populist parties pick subjects that people feel strongly about. These subjects rarely have much influence on society, but it will get people’s attention and votes, especially the idiots.

 

Sensible selection

Imagine you own a company and you let people on the street decide who will be your CEO, marketing manager, financial officer. Would this company be a success?

 

Politicians get paid well

Some local politicians in Rovaniemi earn thousands every year just for sitting in local meetings. This money comes directly from your pocket. If someone takes your money without asking you, how would you react?

 

Broken promises

Candidates make promises that they do not keep. But why?

Imagine you apply for a new job. You don’t know much about what the job involves, but you are very passionate about it. How can you make promises for years into the future?

 

Intelligent sociopathic introverts

These people rarely make it into politics in a democratic nation. To increase your chances of success, you need to be charismatic and outgoing. I thought Finns were supposed to be shy.

 

Democracy is awesome

This is probably fake news, but we are stuck with this system, so we have to make the most of it. Someone once said “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

 

Candidate matcher (vaalikone)

This is a great way of finding the best possible candidate. Or is it? Is the best candidate the one who thinks like you? If your answer is YES, then why are you not a candidate? I have a friend who tried one of these systems and answered ‘I don’t know’ to every question. SDP was the result. The very next day, someone else tried the same and Kokoomus was the result.

 

Left or right or somewhere in the middle? The best candidate advertises in this newspaper – this is how democracy works. Seriously though, good luck, choose wisely and don’t let any media influence you, including this column!